Anxiety is part of our everyday lives. Some of us have a greater capacity to cope, and lead less anxious lives than others. What is it that makes this possible?

While there is not always a straight forward answer there are some common traits that perpetuate people’s anxiety:

• Perfectionism
• Excessive need for Approval
• Tendency to ignore psychological and physical signs of stress
• Excessive need for control

Perfectionists are those that consistently have unrealistic expectations of themselves, others and life in general. This all too often leads people to criticism when things turn out differently. The result or focus invariably is on what has not been done, and what is wrong. What is right is often overlooked or not recognised. This can lead to low self esteem, chronic stress, exhaustion or burnout.

A big step in overcoming perfectionism is learning not to attach your self-worth to your achievements. We are worthwhile just as we are, without needing to constantly measure our accomplishments against our perfectionist expectations of our selves or others.

We also often place “should’s” into our thinking, describe things as "all or nothing" and over generalise to make things appear worse than they may otherwise be.

Overcoming this type of thinking will also go along way towards reducing your anxiety.

General tips to help lower your Anxiety –

• Let go of the idea that your worth is measured by your achievements
• Recognise and overcome perfectionist thinking styles
• Stop magnifying the importance of small errors
• Focus on positives and cultivate more pleasure in life
• Work on goals that are realistic
• Learn to enjoy the process i.e. the journey not the destination is what’s important
• Incorporate relaxation into your daily routine
• Be assertive in life and express your emotional self
• Learn to accept things as they are, cultivate patience and learn to trust that all is well

You may recognise your need for approval is high, have difficulty in accepting criticism, or perhaps ignore the signs that are designed to help you. You may be on the way to being over anxious or perhaps have chronic behaviors that you are not sure how to begin to help yourself with. We seek professional support in so many areas of our lives these days…why not see if a counselor can help bring back the balance you are missing… it may lead you to a greater life…